Jack to the Kikay

what I have learned about love

Thanks to Ateneo’s Theo 131, Bo Sanchez, Stephen Furtick, Mark Driscoll, Scott Peck, Iyanla Vanzant and CS Lewis. These are mostly their words. I am just paraphrasing.

• Most of the time we make our own problems by making the wrong decisions over and over again, doing nothing or choosing to get stuck in misery.
• The end of romantic love is the beginning of true love.
• We live in a world that over-romanticizes love.
  • Love is not “blind”. We should fall into love with our eyes open.
  • “You complete me” is nothing more than a cliched line. We should look for someone who will complement us, not someone who will make us whole. We are not incomplete and lacking in ourselves.
  • There is no such thing as soulmates ala-serendipity. The moment you decide to love and commit to someone, then that person becomes your soulmate.
• You should learn to love yourself before you can love another. Often times we go looking for love to cure our life - thinking that a person that fits our needs will help that, but you need to be content with yourself first.
  • Why would God give me the best if I am not like that myself? To meet the right person, be the right person.
• You will find out what love is not on your way to finding out what love is.
• Every relationship does not have to last forever. Sometimes a relationship, even if it ends in heartbreak, is necessary to get you to the next level.
• Unconditional love makes you vulnerable. Unless you are vulnerable, you cannot be open and experience true love. Most of us are too busy building our “walls” up to see this.
• Love is:
  • a decision (you make even after the feeling/romance is gone)
  • effort-ful. Falling in love is easy, loving is not.
  • about acceptance and compromise.
  • about growth, being able to bring out the best and beauty in each other.
  • simple. Human beings are complicated.
• It’s important to calculate the risks of pursuing a relationship with someone, but sometimes too much analyzing can also kill a relationship before it even begins.

More lessons to be added in the future. :-)